Happiness, The Question of

What is it really? Webster’s defines it as a state of well-being and contentment, summed up as joy. It goes on further to define happiness as a pleasurable or satisfying experience. Are we to take from this that happiness is attainable, but unsustainable? Are we, in American life, sentenced to only being able to indulge in the mere pursuit of happiness to which we’re all entitled? Notice that as stated in the Constitution, we are only entitled to the ability to pursue. A state of well-being, contentment, joy, a pleasurable or satisfying experience; these things all seem momentary.

So why do we so often attempt to ascribe “happiness” as an attribute of personhood? No one really knows how happiness looks, and most of us, at our core, question if we know how happiness really feels; yet we ask people if they’re happy all the time. Are you happy in this situation? Are you happy there? Are you happy here? Are you happy? Are you unhappy? We even describe people that way. We say things like “John’s a happy person,” or “John’s always happy.” I’m sure we’ve all heard these types of phrases or been asked these types of questions; maybe we’re the ones using or asking. If we were actually more cognizant of the definition of happiness, would we still ask those questions or describe people that way? Culturally in America we often apply the term happy to people as if it’s nomenclature; but how can there even be such a thing as a happy person when happiness is so fleeting?

How do we even know what happiness is when we get there? No one can really tell us how; so how do we know how to arrive, or when we’ve arrived? We often say things like “I just want you to be happy,” or “just go be happy,” with no acknowledgment of the fact that arriving at that state is so elusive and so indeterminate. We may not be so ever cognizant of the meaning of the term, but most of us are very aware of the fact that happiness is intangible, and difficult to grasp or obtain.

Is happiness just a motivator; something to propel our ambition? Is it just a compelling idea to keep us more interested in continuing to live? I know it motivates me every day. With no ability to answer these questions, I still wake up each day and strive toward “happiness;” all the while questioning whether or not it’s merely a fancy concept. I’d hazard to wager a large sum of money on the odds favoring that many of you are doing the very same.

Can we find happiness in people, or in being with or around people? Most of us know we’re not supposed to try to look for people to make us happy, but if we’re honest with ourselves, many of us have tried, and most of us overtly entertain the idea of it being possible. People come and go. Most friendships at least become distant and most romantic relationships eventually come to an end, yet we’re largely optimists in this regard; more so than we tend to acknowledge. I was told that people can’t make you happy; and I do still believe that, but I did come to realize that people could make you miserable. So, can happiness really be obtained via relationships; through people, as we often think and feel, though are less likely to admit? It’s probably more likely that people can affect your unhappiness. So, as it relates, should the objective really just be to align ourselves with people who don’t bring us down more often than not, versus looking for or toward people to push us, or pull us closer to the realm of happiness we desire?

We experience joy in moments and attempt to translate those into more sustained periods that would constitute something deserving of the title, but isn’t that sustained happiness really better at slipping right through our fingers? What are we even comparing against to measure happiness? I’ve heard plenty of people express that they’re happy, but are they really just experiencing more moments of joy than they may’ve felt in a previous time in life? Are they happy because moments of joy occur more frequently, or because the moments are more joyous? There are no set criteria; so, do more momentary feelings of joy equal happiness?

Is the pursuit of that more sustained or consistent feeling of joy, that likely occurs more often as just an idea, really worth the constant pursuit; basically, the pursuit to which we’ve dedicated our lives? How many of us can even afford the time to experience or acknowledge happiness? Personally, I know I mostly feel too busy and preoccupied to be concerned about significantly experiencing it in this current period of life. With the demands and time requirements of a full adult life, especially a life that includes having to raise kids and a full-time job, how can the time be made for happiness; and in such a scenario, is it selfish to even try to make the time to pursue happiness for yourself? Happiness is more of a goal that seems to live off in the distance, and my objective is to get there, but being there always exists in the future. Do we, or can we ever get there before it’s all over?

I can only ask these questions, wonder, and allow myself to continue to be motivated; and encourage you to continue to allow yourself to be motivated. After all, what would be the alternative? Whatever happiness really is may always remain a question. What I do know, however, is that happiness does exist. So, whatever happiness is; or better yet, whatever happiness means to you, I wish unto you in abundance…be happy.